winter, spring dan bunga

Foto terbaru dari Anak Minang Newcastle

Tiga Tahun Lalu...

Tiga tahun lalu, jelang Maghrib hari (Pagi di Indonesia), Iyok datang ke rumah, dengan Alisha dan Om Imam.

Hati sudah berdetak melihat raut Iyok yang menahan perasaan.

'Mi, jangan sedih ya. Ada telepon dari Jakarta. Umak sudah pergi.....'

Serasa diremuk....Hancur ....Hilang pijakan.

Pukul 12 itu, Umak mulai sesak nafas. Tati membangunkan Papa ke sebelah. Sepuluh menit kemudian Umak pergi.

Yang mengiris-iris hati, Uda yang membawa Umak ke dokter spesialis ginjal sudah mendapat warning. 'Ibu tidak akan bertahan lebih dari sepekan. Jika ada keluarga yang perlu datang, minta pulang saja.'

Uda tidak menyampaikan kalimat dokter itu kepada saya ataupun yang lain. Entah apa alasannya. Melulu sekedar bertanya, bisa pulang apa tidak? Andai tahu fakta ini, berapapun harga, apapun resiko (termasuk tidak diperkenankan masuk UK karena Wafa belum ada visa), saya akan jalani.

Tapi, itulah takdir Allah.

Sepekan menjelang kepergian Umak, Umak sedikit mendapat kelegaan dari rasa sakit beliau karena diberi resep penahan rasa sakit. Namun sebelumnya, kala harus ke belakang, Umak cerita, sakitnya tiga kali lebih dahsyat dari melahirkan kami dulu.

Yang saya tidak tahu, setiap rasa sakit itu mendera, Umak merintih, 'Mun, Wafa, pulanglah Nak.'

Tidak ada juga yang memberitahukan ini. Setiap saya mengeraskan tekad menghadapi kemungkinan terburuk (pulang tanpa visa dsb),  keluarga selalu melarang.

Sebulan lamanya saya antara ada dan tiada. Melalui monument, ingat Umak. Liat kursi di taman, ingat Umak. Liat kain yang selalu dipakai Umak, tak tahan. Tak terhitung air mengalir begitu saja.

Makin memerihkan ketika tak ada satupun yang ingat untuk memotokan Umak ketika akan diantar ke peristirahat terakhir. Tak ada!

Perih sekali.

Walau mencoba menghibur diri, mungkin Allah tak menginginkan luka itu makin ngilu. Karena pengaruh kemoterapi merusak kulit dan merontokkan rambut Umak, sehingga seorang teman yang pernah bertemu Mak bertanya berapa usia Mak. Dia kaget. dia mengira 10 tahun lebih tua. Padahal Umak termasuk yang awet muda sebelum sakitnya.

Setiap memimpikan Umak, selalu dalam mimpi Umak hadir dalam kehidupan. Tak pernah memimpikan beliau telah pergi. Saya kira, setelah menjejakkan kaki di tepi kuburannya, mimpi itu akan berubah. Tidak.

Umak masih hidup. Dalam ingatan dan diri.

Kalimat Umak dahulu, tiba-tiba terucap, begitu saja.

Istirahatlah Umak, dengan tenang. Kami akan lanjutkan.

'Ya Allah bisa bertemu dengan Umak di paradise. Amiin', doa bujang dan gadis.

Amiin ya Waduud.

 

Sweet Lamb Chop

Description:
Mudah bikinnya, enak rasanya.

Ingredients:
Lamb chop 1 kilo
2 onion, finely chop
tomato paste 1 sdm
garam masala 1/2 sdt
tomato chop 1/2 tin/ ato tomat seger agak 4 atau lima dipotong halus
garlic 3 dikuprek dan dirajang halus
Lemon juice
air 5 sendok malam



Directions:
Cuci lamb/sheep, lamuri air jeruk. Diamkan.
Tumis onion sampai hampir coklat, masukkan garlic sampai harum.
Masukkan lamb/sheep. Tambahkan garam masala. Aduk sampai coklat.
Tambahkan tomato paste dan tomato chop, dan air.
Masak dengan api kecil dan tutup panci.
Siap disantap jika lamb sudah hampir lepas dari tulang.
Aduh, enak dimakan panas-panas.

What will It be? ...(Sister of Brother??)

Rabu kemarin, jadual scan 20 pekan. Anak-anak sudah counting the day tiga pekan sebelumnya. Mereka excited. Mereka kehilangan scan yang 13 pekan karena sekolah.

Muhammad sempat minta bolos saja dari sekolah, karena ingin ikut liat baby in Umi's tummy. Ya, nggak mungkin dong.

Akhirnya, mereka berharap sekali untuk scan kali ini. Sejak sehari sebelumnya mereka sudah merancang 'itinery' perjalanan ke RVI. Saya memang menyarankan kita piknik dulu di Leazes park sebelum menyeberang ke RVI. Makin excited deh tuh.

Dengan berbekal donat, crips, fruit (this is what we call a balance diet, he he heh  * mau bikin nasi dan mie nggak sempet....*) kita jalan ke st james Park. wuih, baru keluar pintu, jalan 5 langkah udah berhenti lagi. Buka jaket!! Panas bo!

Spring and summer have come!

Anak-anak sukaaa jalan seperti itu.

Sayangnya, nggak sempat main dulu di taman, karena sudah telat. Abi menyongsong sampai ke dekat danau.

Sampai di RVI, ada bouncy castle mini di ruang tunggu. Asyik lah mereka seluncuran sampai tiba giliran di scan.

'Sorry, I am bringing a whole troop'. Masuk Abi, dan tiga bocah.

'Indeed you are.' Scanner itu tersenyum ramah menyilakan yang lain duduk di sekitar tempat tidur.

Arik, Muhammad, dan Wafa awalnya lebih banyak memperhatikan gagang scanner. Tapi, kami sering mengembalikan perhatian mereka ke monitor.

'So, what would like? Baby boy or girl?' Scanner mengalihkan perhatiannya pada para bocah.

'Baby boy." Arik mumbling. Di rumah, Arik biasanya nambahin, 'but not naughty as Muhammad....atau 'So, we can have a football team'

Muhammad bilang, 'Baby girl.'

'And you, what do you want?'

Wafa soalnya diem saja.

'She is more familiar with baby sister or brother,' saya tertawa.

Semua yang bisa diperiksa nampak normal. Keliatan isi otak baby, nampak darah memompa masuk keluar jantungnya. Bahkan bladdernya juga dilihat. Dilihatkan bibir bawah-atas untuk melihat cleft.

'Okay, are you ready?' Scanner melihat pada anak-anak.

'Who wants baby brother?'

Arik angkat tangan.

'Who wants baby sister?'

Muhammad dan Wafa angkat tangan. (Wafa malu-malu)

'You are going to have.....baby brother.'

Diam.

Ha ha ha.

Bahkan Arik juga tidak nampak antusias. Kali mikir, hopefully tidak naughty kayak Muhammad.

Sedikit ada rasa kuatir. Kekuatiran yang sama ketika mengetahui anak kedua juga bujang. Saya tidak ingin kasih sayang saya berkurang pada salah satu dari mereka, namun tidak mengurangi cinta pada yang newcomers.

Arik special karena dia sulung. Wafa special karena dia perempuan satu-satunya. Muhammad special karena dia anak tengah. Jika ada satu bujang lagi? Bagaimana cara supaya cinta dan kasih itu sama dan merata?

Insya ALlah. Memohon pada Allah supaya diberikan keadilan dan kejujuran. Serta selautan kasih sayang dan cinta.

'Muhammad tidak akan kurang dapat perhatian.' Kata Abi, ketika saya menguatirkan jika nanti Muhammad yang kurang dapat bagian. 'Dia pintar'.

Ah, kepintaran akademis Muhammad tidak jaminan dia mendapat limpahan kasih sayang dari orang sekelilingnya.

'Pintar?' Umi masih berkerut kening.

'Pintar mencari perhatian.' Abi tersenyum lebar.

Umi nyengir.

Kayak siapa ya?..............

 

Sarah HV: One to One Care is the Best

HV: Health Visitor

Selasa lalu Sarah berkunjung ke rumah. Sejak jam 3.15 sampai jam 5.30. PM. Hubungan dengan dia tak sekedar hubungan profesional Health visitor-client. Tapi sudah masuk pada friendship yang special.

Kedatangan Sarah tak banyak memuat item yang harus didiskusikan kecuali, masalah kulit dan hidung Wafa, Muhammad yang sering bosan di sekolah.

Dari diskusi panjang, selalu balik kepada pendidikan anak. Sampai Sarah mengutip 4 pemikir psikologi dan menjelaskan mana-mana yang seusia dengan pandangannya.

Sarah tidak setuju dengan Freud yang melihat hubungan melulu dari sisi seks. Semisal, Ibu yang melajutkan menyusui anak lebih dari 6 bulan melakukannya karena 'kesenangan' personal Ibu. Yaks.

Sarah lebih suka melihat hubungan orangtua-anak sebagai loving-caring relationship.

Sampai pada *dia sering komentar memang* anak-anak yang menurut Sarah sehat secara fisik (minus minor complaints) dan psikologis.

'It is rare that children at their age can be consistent and focus on what they are doing. Children in this country usually easily distracted'....tentang anak-anak yang asyik dengan bacaan...atau mainan mereka.

Sampai pada 'Nursery bagi anak di bawah 3 tahun akan merusak anak'.

Sarah berkata, penelitian menyimpulkan meletakkan anak pada daycare, atau nursery ketika anak masih di bawah usia 3 tahun akan menciptakan anak yang tumbuh dengan rasa tidak aman, dsb.

Anak memerlukan one-to-one care ketika masih kecil. Tidak apa tidak sama Ibu/Bapak, namun anak perlu seseorang yang merawat secara kontinyu, orang yang sama, dengan kasih-sayang. Bukan pengasuhan massal seperti daycare atau nursery.

Tapi, Ibu di UK cenderung memilihkan nurseries karena beberapa alasan. Pertama, lebih murah. Kedua ada kecendrungan untuk jealous pada daycara provider yang one-to-one. Takut, jika anak lebih dekat dengan yang memberikan pengasuhan.

Jadi inget sama kehidupan 2 - 3 tahun belakangan. Beasiswa sudah tidak ada lagi lebih dari 3 tahun ke belakang. Biaya hidup per bulan yang sekitar 550 pound (sekitar 10 jete) harus dicari dengan kerja sambilan. Pertama suami kerja sebagai cleaner di kampus. Gaji 220 pound. Jelas nggak cukup. Saya melamar jadi cleaner di sekolahan. Gaji 304 pound. Masih kurang dikit. Saya mendaftarkan diri sebagai loper koran mingguan. Satu kali sepekan mengantar koran gratis ke tetanga dekat rumah. gaji berkisar 18-23 pound per pekan. Lumayan.

Kerja suami pagi hari, saya mengasuh anak sampai suami pulang dari belajar di kampus. Saya kerja cleaner sore, suami di rumah menunggu anak.

Takdir Allah, tiga pekan setelah memulai kerja cleaner, saya mulai kerja tambahan di sekolah yang sama sebagai lab. technician. Hanya 3 jam per hari + 3 jam cleaning. Sehari kerja 6 jam per hari. Masuk jam 13-ish, pulang jam 7 malem.

Otomatis suami di rumah merawat bayi usia 7 bulan, dan anak 2,5 tahun. Abang sudah masuk nursery

6 bulan rutinitas seperti ini. Menyesakkan juga. Saya susah menghilangkan pikiran bahwa anak-anak tidak bersama Ibunya. Mereka berhak atas asuhan Uminya. Ah, tapi ada Abi. Abi sama cintanya pada mereka.

Tapi, kembali rutin dengan dua kerja part time cleaner, pagi dan sore. Belakangan suami meninggalkan kerja parttime supaya lebih konsen ke tesis. (Kita bisa karena sudah ada tabungan yang akan mencukupi kekurangan per bulan)

Datang Feb 2006 saya diminta kembali ke lab, full time. Di sini kembali terulang proses meninggalkan anak. Kadang kalau ada practical jam pertama, jam 7 sudah keluar rumah. Balik setelah selesai kerja cleaner jam 7 malem. Kadang sehari ada yang kerja sampai 11 jam (!!!), walau juga ada yang rileks, hanya 6 jam.

Mau melepas kerja cleaner, ya gimana, kerja lab hanya sementara. Nggak jelas habisnya kapan. tergantung lab teknisi yang sedang sakit itu. Tapi, no, impossible. Cleaning job dilepas. Dengan demikian saya tinggal kerja pagi sampai sore saja. Masih bisa mengasuh anak pagi dan sore. Mereka sudah sekolah dari jam 9 - 15.15. Wafa saja yang setengah hari.

Walaupun suami yang jadi one to-one care,......still, ada rasa jealous juga....jika kepulangan Abi dari satu tempat disambut heboh....

Umi pulang dari kerja....ah cueeek....Biasa....Umi mah jarang di rumah. Hiks.

Walau semua itu terobati, jika mereka tiba-tiba memeluk dan bilang, 'I miss you Umi. I love you very-very much'.

 

 

Our Nurseries Create Yob Generation *Syereeem*

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=446564&in_page_id=1770

Nurseries 'turning our children into yobs'

By LAURA CLARK - More by this author » Last updated at 00:11am on 5th April 2007

Labour's drive to put toddlers in childcare so mothers can go out to work is damaging a generation, the Government's own research showed yesterday.

Young children who spend long hours in nurseries are more disruptive and anxious than infants mainly looked after at home by their mothers. The earlier they go to nursery, the worse their behaviour becomes.

Toddlers left in daycare for at least 30 hours a week are "significantly" more likely to bully other children, tease them, call them names and demand their own way.

But they also became worried and upset. They were more prone to pouting, frowning and stamping their feet if asked to try a new activity and to worry about not getting enough food, drink or toys.

The explosive findings, arising from the first study of its kind, blow holes in a decade of Government policy which has massively expanded childcare to encourage more parents back to work.

Billions have been poured into subsidising nurseries and childminders through the tax credit system, direct daycare benefits and the Sure Start project which was set up to help the neediest families.

The end of tax breaks for married couples and working tax credits which benefit parents who return to work effectively penalise those who opt to stay at home.

Ministers boasted last year that more than 700,000 children now attend nursery for more than four hours a day. More than half of mothers of children under two now have full-time or part-time jobs.

However the drive to expand childcare to cut the benefits bill has sparked an emotive debate over the impact of full-time care on development.

Now a major Government study, by a team of researchers from Oxford University and the Institute of Fiscal Studies, has found long periods spent in daycare increase the risk "problem behaviour".

The findings prompted critics to describe Britain's growing culture of "institutionalised" childcare as a "tragedy" for youngsters.

Cecily Hanlon, who sparked a debate on childcare at a teachers' conference yesterday, warned the country would pay the price with a rise in anti-social behaviour.

Children were already killing other children with guns and knives, she said.

"The message coming from the Government now is that as soon as you have had your baby, find your childcare, we will provide it and off you go" she said.

"Perhaps the Government should be thinking more about family friendly jobs rather than at present making people be job-friendly families." Education Secretary Alan Johnson yesterday dismissed arguments over working mothers as "faintly ludicrous".

"Having the opportunity to ensure they can combine their professional life with their family commitments is what Governments should be doing and is what we have done consistently since 1997," he said.

However the published by the Department for Education and Skills revealed how daycare can have "detrimental" effects.

The trend emerged in a study of the Neighbourhood Nurseries Initiative, which was launched in 2001 to provide daycare for families in the poorest parts of the country using £370million of lottery and public funds.

By 2005, 1,400 nurseries had been set up to help working-class families back into jobs.

Researchers monitored 810 toddlers - average age two years and nine months - in 100 nurseries. Childcare workers were asked to complete a detailed questionnaire on each child which allowed researchers to draw up a picture of their behaviour.

While long hours in daycare built children's confidence - they were more likely to enjoy talking and be open and direct in saying what they wanted - it was also linked with worried, upset and anti-social behaviour.

"In contrast to the positive influence of centre-based provision on children's sociability and confidence, it seems that the amount of time children spent in their childcare centres can also increase problem behaviour.

"Children who attended for more time every week were rated as more anti-social by their care-givers than those who attended for less time. "Children who attended for at least 30 hours and/or three days every week were rated as more anti-social, for example more likely to tease other children and call them names, prevent other children from carrying out routines or be bossy and need their own way.

"In addition, children who attended for at least 35 hours and/or five days each week displayed more worried and upset behaviours." Younger children put in groups with older toddlers exhibited less "emotional security" than those looked after with peers of the same age.

Research from the US has suggested that anti-social behaviour linked with long hours in daycare as a toddlers persists at least into primary school.

The latest findings raised dramatic new doubts over Government efforts to encourage more mothers back to the workplace.

Three years ago the Department of Trade and Industry - then headed by current Health Secretary Patricia Hewitt - published a paper describing those who do not return to jobs in the first two years after childbirth as a "problem".

It said mothers who stayed at home were not giving the taxpayer a return on the cost of their education.

Meanwhile ministers plan to require every school to open for 50 hours a week - dubbed Kelly Hours after former Education Secretary Ruth Kelly - and offer childcare or after-school activities to make it easier for parents to return to work.

Mr Johnson said yesterday: "The argument that there's evidence women are letting down their children by going out to work I think is just faintly ludicrous."

But members of the Association of Teachers and Lecturers, meeting at their annual conference in Bournemouth, backed a motion calling for further research into the "institutionalisation of children".

Mrs Hanlon, a teacher from Leeds specialising in pre-school education, said: "There's a lot of concern among early years consultants about very young children in group care.

"I have seen lots of bewildered looking babies. I have heard from colleagues in daycare settings who have said that baby has been crying for 15 minutes. Why isn't somebody doing anything about it?"

Tory schools spokesman Nick Gibb said: "The research confirms that poor quality early years settings can have a negative effect on a child's development.

"We need to ensure that the drive to expand nursery education is not at the expense of quality."

According to the report, children put in nurseries for long periods, especially more than 30 hours a week, are more likely to:

SHOW ANTI-SOCIAL BEHAVIOUR
* Tease other children * Call other children names * Prevent other children from carrying out routines * Bully other children * Boss other children around * Demand their own way

SHOW WORRIED AND UPSET BEHAVIOUR
* Frown, shrug shoulders, pout or stamp their feet when given an idea for a new game * Get upset if they are not paid attention * Fight against or become upset at change * Worry about not getting enough access to toys, food, drink or attention

BE CONFIDENT
* Be open and direct about what they want * Be confident with other people * Tend to be proud of things they have done * Show interest in many and different things * Enjoy talking to others

HAVE SOCIAL SKILLS
* Easily get others to pay attention to them * Be friendly towards others * Join a group of children playing * Ask or want to play a game with other children * Talk to other children

Horeee, Libur!! (Mum's missions)

Dua pekan! Easter holiday.

Libur = spring cleaning. Bebersih dari depan sampai belakang, dari panci sampai sudut sink  Arik sudah janji mau nolong. Ketika Muhammad diberi pilihan oleh Abi, mau memorising (Qur'an) atau doing Math, dia milih 'helping Umi tidy up'

Sedang banyak-banyak diskusi denngan Arik tentang Allah, Rasul saw, shahabah, dan how it should be as a Muslim boy. Kadang Muhammad nyela, dan Wafa teriak kenceeeng, supaya suara umi tenggelam.

Kalau diskusi, dari bertiga, Arik yang paling antusias.

Mereka sedang demam 'the trench battle'. Muhammad memilih jadi Khalid, 'because he became Muslim at the end'...lalu nuduh-nuduh Bang Arik jadi Abu Lahab, atau Umayyah. Arik protes keras. 'I don't want to be Umayyah. He died in the end'.

Kalau harus milih jadi the baddie, Abang pilih jadi Abu Sofyan saja. 'After all, he became a Muslim'.

Hm.

Muhammad minta ijin jadi Wahsy. Umi larang. 'Did he become a Muslim, Mi?'

'Yes, but what he did was too painfull (killing Hamzah ra). Even Rasul said, Wahsy...Wahsy just stay away from me. I cannot look at you'.

'I will not be Wahsy then'

Dua pekan ini ada niat untuk final touch tulisan. Namun Abi minta Umi bikin 'Pekan Rasulullah', he he heh.

Ya deh. (Ada deh  nyaaa)

Udah kebayang mau potong-potong sirah dan story telling. Mau bikin a themed drawing time juga. Mau memprint some of  sirah dalam bahasa Inggris untuk Abang Arik, mau bikin gambar besar Arabia untuk Muhammad dan Wafa.

Ada ide nggak, temans?

Rasanya, asal cinta itu hidup dan merasuk, insya Allah akan menularkan cinta juga. Ini mikir sederhananya. Tapi, mestinya ada cara yang lebih sistematis ya?

Ada saran supaya tidak mewek duluan?

Ketika membacakan sirah The House of Nectar, yang ada mereka confused dan tak habis pikir.

'Why do you cry Umi?'

Dan Umi cuma bisa sesenggukan menjawab, 'Because I miss Rasulullah.'